Culmination

By the time many of you read this latest entry, Renee and I will have been "home" (back at our Moscow apartment) with Syevinch for at least a couple of hours. One very lengthy adventure finally over and one that will last the remainder of our lifetimes just beginning.

I realize in writing this that those of you who have kids must find the climax of our little story just a bit melodramatic. After all, ordinary people become parents every day — there's not a whole lot extraordinary about the process. And yet, in truth, there is something extraordinary about it every single time it occurs.

Our process may be interesting because of the international element, the extended duration, or the roller-coaster nature of our experiences the last two years. I'm sure the rarity of adoption adds to the interest level, and the idea of bringing a walking, talking, reasoning 16-month-old into our lives and convincing her that two relative strangers will be her parents is a factor — it's certainly the one with the greatest impact on Renee and me. But we're not that different from what happens everywhere in the world on any given day.

And yet, from a very subjective perspective, it is the most profound thing that I could possibly imagine. That is why I write and that is why I share it with you.

>>><<<>>><<<

Because of the time lag between Moscow and you, even though I opened this blog by stating that the adoption was complete and Syevinch was "home" with us, I am writing this from the familiar side of that life-changing event and am still struggling to understand and prepare for tomorrow's reality.

• What does she eat?
• How do we feed her?
• When will she nap?
• How will we know what she needs?
• How do we communicate what we need?
• How do we explain this disruption to life as she knows it?

So many unknowns. This is something that I've wanted for a very long time and I am ecstatic that this dream is finally coming true, but the excitement is tempered with fear and with doubt ... such mixed feelings.

Parents, tell me ... is this how you felt in anticipation of parenthood?

>>><<<>>><<<

Okay, enough with the pondering ... back to the details.

Saturday was cold. We made our regular trek by metro and foot to the orphanage and had a nice but fairly brief visit with Syevinch. Nothing out of the ordinary ... except for the cold. I think it hit a high of about 23°, which was comparable to our very first visit to the orphanage back in mid-November. It was cold enough that Renee and I both questioned whether we would return on Sunday. But given that Sunday would be our final visit with Syevinch in her familiar surroundings, we didn't want to give that up.

Sunday was colder. I learned that my gloves max out around 20° and that anything colder than that got through the REI-approved exterior and bit at my hands. Sunday's temperature was 17° not factoring wind chill. When we first arrived in Moscow on November 18, I asked our driver Vlad what he thought of the cold. He responded with a common saying in Russia: "Rather to sweat for seven days, than shiver for one." Despite my intense preference for cold-weather climates, I now understand the logic of our Russian friend. And yet it didn't seem to stop the natives from getting out and even having fun. Both Saturday and Sunday we saw a lot of parents pulling their kids on sleds (the winter equivalent of our little red wagon), adults cross-country skiing in the "green" spaces on the fringe of the city, and families out on leisurely strolls through the snow. (Photo at right.)

Holding to our initial decision, we got ready Sunday morning, bundled up, and trudged out. Exiting the apartment squeezed the breath out of us as the wind and cold slapped at exposed flesh. (My sympathies to Heather and Sarah who reportedly experienced similar weather this week in Colorado and Minnesota, respectively.) There are a couple of elderly homeless women who have taken up residence in the clearing outside of our apartment building — I don't know how they have managed to survive such levels of exposure. Passing them every day on our way to the metro is hard, not knowing how to provide assistance. Knowing that the temperature will continue to drop and remain dangerously low through January leaves me wondering what will become of them.

Despite the weather's intent to stop us, we made it to the metro, acknowledging our last ride to the end of the purple line, our last walk through the far reaches of the Moscow city limits, our last visit to Syevinch's orphanage home. The visit itself was nice. Every day we see her, she is walking a bit more, toddling around on her wobbly little legs, fearless in her efforts to be that much more independent. When we poked our head into her room, she walked over, smiling, to Renee's outstretched arms. And for the next hour, in a tiny little space at the far side of the building, she continued to grow increasingly more comfortable with us. (She now enjoys hanging upside down, as the photo at right shows.)

However, she has grown bored with the arsenal of toys that we brought with us, finding the greatest amusement in tossing them to the floor. Now she takes great delight in manhandling more fragile things like my watch and the camera, taking particular pleasure in putting the lens cap on, as if she were a miniature Sean Penn dealing with the paparazzi. (Partial photo at right — "I said no more photos!")

All of the caregivers that we've encountered, despite the lack of common language, have been very pleasant and helpful. Recognizing Syevinch's final days in the orphanage, they have been especially attentive to her. We talk about the concerns of attachment from the perspective of the child and how transitioning them from an institutional environment to a home environment is a complicated process, but we've neglected to think of how hard this must be for the dozen or so women in the orphanage who are forced to say goodbye to the children that they have effectively raised. We get the sense that they too believe that it is in the child's best interest to be raised in a loving family, but still ... goodbyes are never easy. We've been able to get a few random photos of some of these caregivers, but due to shifting schedules and such, there's no way for us to capture everyone that Syevinch has had contact with. (Photo of just two of these special women — note Syevinch's utter displeasure at having to say goodbye.)

As we slogged home, we decided to go out to eat tonight in "celebration" of our last night of childlessness (and in recognition that eating out will soon be a rare occurrence), but upon settling in to the warmth of the apartment, I fell asleep and didn't wake until after 9:00. Looks like leftover soup and instant coffee again. Meanwhile, Renee has made yet another scan of the apartment in an attempt to baby-proof this unproofable space. Fortunately, we won't have much need (or desire) to leave the apartment for the next week (other than scheduled outings to the doctor and embassy), so we will both be able to keep watch over Syevinch as she adjusts to her new surroundings.

And so tomorrow looms. Unlike the anticipation for the court date, which was a 20-minute ordeal and then over, this anticipation is much longer-lived.

It is finally here: The moment that we have pursued since this whole adventure began in July 2005 ... the goal of our painstaking adventure finally within our grasp.

With a sigh of relief and a gasp of trepidation,
Larry & Renee

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

Today's guest writer: Renee

Well, we had great intentions today of visiting the Kremlin. Got up, showered, dressed, read about the sites, got out the door ... and well the snow and Larry's ankle pain led us to revisit our plan. Instead, we hit a bookstore to feed my Harry Potter fix (re-reading the series). Hopefully I will get book 5 read before Monday, as I guess I will have to wait for books 6 & 7 for when Syevinch hits puberty. And, as a lame attempt at bringing Russian culture home with us (and since we won't now see the Kremlin), we bought a tourist book version of it. We then had our coffee fix at the cafe chain Shokoladnitsa and looked at the images of the Kremlin from a really warm and toasty place. Did I mention the art and jewels look an awful lot like the treasures in St. Petersburg?? (I know, really lame excuse). (See pic of Larry in his favorite Moscow spot: Shokoladnitsa.)

Then we started our holiday shopping and souvenir buying by going back to Arbat Street. I think we had the word "tourist" written on our foreheads as we left with way fewer Rubles than when we started. (There is a fine line between overpriced souvenir junk and way way overpriced hand-carved and hand-painted artisan crafts. We tried to find the balance somewhere in between.)

We then went back to the supermarket to restock a few items in preparation for next week (i.e., our first week of parenthood)!! Did I mention that our true mission for the day was to find more Cheerios? It is the only snack Syevinch will eat and I was just fearing the plane ride home sans Cheerios. Well, we found a knock off and will do the true test when we bring a few of them to the orphanage tomorrow. We trudged our way back through the snow carrying arm fulls of bags when we came back to the palace. Our cleaning lady was here, we tried to communicate a bit, scheduled our last cleaning and found that she had set up the crib for us!!
Have I said recently how this is getting really real. And can I say... the crib is also a rocker... how cute is that!!!

By the way, plan B (if the fake Cheerios don't work), is for Lare and I to go to an exorbitantly overpriced brunch buffet at the Marriott and stuff our pockets with Cheerios. (Thanks to Melissa for the idea!!!) Apparently the Marriott serves many, many adoptive families and has a plentiful supply of Cheerios on hand (gotta do what you gotta do!).

Anyway, I thought you might like to see a few shots from our day today (the one in red is not Larry). The photos from our visit yesterday weren't fabulous. Syevinch was really tired and there were more tears than smiles. We were able to get a photo of a few of her caregivers though, and I know in years to come she will appreciate having these images.

Just two more days of trekking out to the orphanage! Yippee! (You have no idea!) And, yes, we are doing the countdown till we come home.

All our best,

Renee (and Larry)

P.S. We still love hearing from you — it makes home feel a lot closer than halfway across the globe.

Winter Wonderland

It's 4:41 Thursday morning, Moscow time. I had every intention of writing this blog posting about eight hours ago, but my body gave out eight and a half hours ago and Renee and I both wound up falling asleep as we discussed what to do about dinner. (The lack of consciousness dictated the menu of cold cereal and hot tea when I awoke around 2:00 a.m.)

So we're back from our little jaunt to the coast — the Baltic coast, that is. St. Petersburg was great — a gorgeous city in the style of Western Europe and well preserved given that it recently celebrated its 300th birthday (a baby next to Moscow's 1000-year history). The core of the city was condensed enough to motivate us to walk everywhere, but expansive enough to provide a sense of awe. And while Renee and I both appreciated the opportunity to get some much-needed exercise, I did something to my Achilles tendon our last night in St. Petersburg that continues to hurt — not ideal for our current walking-intensive lifestyle, particularly through the ice and snow.

We took quite a few photos of St. Petersburg, both walking around the city the three days we were there, as well as a considerable number of photos inside the Hermitage — one of Russia's premier art museums. Rather than subject you to them here, I am working at creating a photo gallery on Flickr.com, which I will include a link to once it's available. (This preview is of Renee in front of the Pushkin Theatre just beneath the statue of Empress Catherine.)

In the meantime, however, here's a view of the spire of the Saints Peter & Paul Cathedral located within the aptly named Peter & Paul Fortress. The fort is across the Neva River from the heart of St. Petersburg, which was nearly completely frozen over when we visited. The ice had been broken up by shipping traffic and refrozen so that it was ultimately composed of sheets of ice as large and as thick as doors jutting up from the river at random angles. It was also snowing pretty steadily, so everything was dusted white, adding to the Arctic effect.

While it was wonderful to get away from the drudgery of apartment living in Moscow, we missed our time (however limited) with Syevinch and were concerned that interruption of our consistent daily visits might affect the bonding process. This was not to be the case, however, and is mentioned below in further detail.

We spent quite a bit of time just walking the city to take in the surroundings and sights. Unfortunately, however, the first morning and much of the third and final day were consumed by killing time. Because hotel check-in was 2:00 p.m. and our train arrived at 8:00 a.m., we spent much of the first morning sitting in cafes (granted, I could think of much worse things than drinking coffee in a European cafe!) and wandering the streets around the hotel in a frozen delirium. The final day had the reverse effect in that hotel check-out was noon — a full 12 hours before our train departed for Moscow. Fortunately, we were able to store our luggage at the hotel until much later that evening, but it still meant that we were homeless for the day, wandering at the whim of the travel gods.

[I know that Renee will ask me to edit this posting after-the-fact if I don't also mention such things as our amazingly overpriced taxi ride the morning of our arrival (he quoted me 35 Euro for the 8-block drive from the train station to our hotel, which I mistakenly heard as 35 Rubles — a difference of about $40); of our eerie dining experience Tuesday evening in an expansive, two-story Russian/Chinese restaurant in which we were the only two patrons (the food was surprisingly good); or of our multiple book-buying excursions in which she found an English version of Harry Potter 4 (she finished book 3 far too quickly earlier in the trip), I bought Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment in the city in which it was set, and together we bought six or seven Russian picture books in support of our intentions to provide a cultural link to Syevinch's place of birth.]

All in all, it was a wonderful three days and was a great break from our Moscow routine. We were also delighted to discover that the train ride "home" Tuesday evening officially marked the halfway point in our extended Russian adventure. And now, a day later, the tally is: 11 days down, 9 to go (not counting the two full days of travel serving as bookends to this life-altering journey).

Upon arriving in Moscow first thing Wednesday morning, we were delighted to be greeted by Vlad, our primary guide to all things Moscow, who saved us the trouble and expense (and potential hilarity of ensuing communication difficulties) of hiring a taxi for the 20-minute ride across town. We also got the opportunity to talk through with him the schedule of events for the remaining week or so of our stay.

The good news: We will take physical custody of Syevinch next Monday, December 3 (the day after Russia's controversial national elections), two full days earlier than we were initially led to believe! (This is not meant to imply that there is bad news associated with this announcement, but there is now a countdown to when our lives will forever be changed — a concept difficult to fully grasp from this side of parenthood.)

The schedule for next week is therefore as follows:

Monday, 12/3:
• Visit the vital statistics office and apply for Syevinch's Russian passport.
• Go shopping (with Vlad) for all the basic necessities: diapers, baby food, etc.
• Return to the orphanage (for the last time) and bring our baby home.

Tuesday, 12/4:
• Figure out how to be a parent (one day should be enough time...)

Wednesday, 12/5:
• Take Syevinch to the medical clinic for a physical exam.

Thursday, 12/6:
• Visit the U.S. embassy (next door) to obtain Syevinch's U.S. visa.

Friday, 12/7:
• Panic.

Saturday, 12/8:
• Head home!

This leaves us the next four days (Thursday–Sunday) for our daily ritual of traversing the city by foot and metro to visit Syevinch at the orphanage. While it had begun snowing in St. Petersburg on Monday, Moscow didn't get it until yesterday (Wednesday). The snow is expected to continue here through the weekend, so our walks will be just a bit whiter, wetter, and slower, but will help prepare us for the coming holidays. (Renee has already taken to singing "Winter Wonderland" as we traipse through the bleak urban landscape of northwestern Moscow on our daily orphanage trek.)

Yesterday's visit (our first since being away for three days) was nice. Syevinch again reached out for Renee when we first poked our head in the door of "Gruppa 8" (her co-ed living quarters) and cried when we returned her to the caregivers for her nap. We continue to search for appropriate and effective distraction strategies in preparation for the plane ride home and have discovered that, regardless of a toy's degree of initial captivation, Syevinch seems to find the greatest amusement in throwing it on the floor. I'm hoping that this pattern doesn't continue through feeding time, as that could get old really quickly. This photo shows Syevinch having great fun with one of her favorite new toys, just prior to launching it.

We are still hoping to make the most of our free time and plan to return to the Kremlin on Friday or Saturday for the full tour, and although the Bolshoi Theatre was sold out for the entire duration of our stay, I'm still hopeful that we might be able to snag a couple of tickets to one of the ballets later this weekend. We're also hoping that Sunday's elections here don't disrupt the status quo to the point that our routine is affected. It may prove interesting to be at the center of this internationally observed event, but I'd feel better if it remains the uneventful event that it is projected to be.

Well, this took a lot longer to piece together than I had anticipated and I will be hard pressed to get another few hours of sleep before preparing for a limping return to Syevinch later this morning.

Until next time,
Larry & Renee

St. Pete

Hello from St. Petersburg!

Just a quick message to explain that our absence the last several days is due to the lack of internet access from our hotel in St. Petersburg. It's been just as chilly as Moscow (if not more so) and we got snowed on in our walking tour on Monday. But it's a beautiful place and well worth the trip.

We're headed back to Moscow on the midnight train and will send a more formal update (with photos) later Wednesday.

Thanks for checking in. More soon....

Larry & Renee